Moving Forward Part 1

over 8 years ago

Quite a long read this so I have had to break it up into 2 parts as we can only have so many words per message. Part 2 to follow …. )

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You two break up–doesn’t matter who does it. You immediately panic and begin chasing, begging, pleading, harrassing, phoning, e-mailing, IMing, stalking (okay not all of them, just pick whichever one you did). Most of us will likely do some things during this stage that will make you cringe when you think back on it, say after about 3 months. You lose weight. You neglect yourself, your house, your job. You drive your friends and family crazy talking about the break up. You cry at the drop of a dime. You can’t even comprehend that your life might not again include that “special person.” You begin putting them on a pedestal, forgetting all of the nagging things about them that used to drive you crazy. In your mind, they have become omnipotent, all encompassing, all everything.

You convince yourself that you are a loser who just screwed up a relationship with “the best person in the world.” You KNOW without a doubt that you will never EVER love like that again. You know no one else will come along who even comes close to being as marvelous as your ex. You wear a sad face for the world to see.

They (the ex’s) remain steadfast in their denial to get back together. Many of them leapfrog into new relationships, immediately being exclusive with a new person. For those that do leapfrog, they appear to just “replace” you with a new model. All of the things you two used to do, they now do with someone else. Bowling, cuddling watching television, motorcycle riding, antiquing. Whatever you two did, likely they will just begin doing those things with someone new.

You hear about them and their new life. You are desperate for any crumbs of news about their life. Many of us make things worse here by trying to use manipulation to get them back–yet they stay away from us like we are the plague.

For those of us who do still have contact with our ex’s we begin selling ourselves short. Doing stupid things like allowing them access to our bodies and then wanting to strangle them afterward when they remind us that “Sex does not imply hope.”

You, in further panic mode, begin frantically searching the internet using phrases such as “break ups,” “divorce stopper,” whatever.

You voraciously read the posts about getting your partner back. You search for news of those who “got their mates back.” You’re on the site constantly. You’ll read the books and think “Ah I can do this. I can get this person back.” You begin your “no contact” and for some of us, this will get a reaction from our ex’s. For the rest, no contact is and will continue to be what you’ll get and receive.

=== Continued in Part 2 ====

over 8 years ago

You can continue to read the remainder of this article titled Moving Forward Part 2

over 8 years ago

Thanks for the comments left me )))

You can continue to read the remainder of this article titled Moving Forward Part 2

over 8 years ago

Remember to read part 2 of this article!

over 8 years ago

Thanks for the feed back on this to my mail box much appreciated )

over 8 years ago

Ready to give you insight online now. )

over 8 years ago

thanks for the feed back on these articles. Very much appreciated :)

over 8 years ago

Glad some found this of help )

over 8 years ago

The challenge is knowing when to let go and in accepting that it is time the path can become so much easier! Pain does recede!

over 8 years ago

This is part bumped to keep it with part 2 and thanks for the comments )

over 8 years ago

Someone was asking about this article in question so here it is :) thank you

over 8 years ago

A few people asked about this article so here it is again thank you