Soul Connections: Avoiding the trap

over 8 years ago
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The Love Messenger (relationshipalchemy)

20 posts

When we are hurt we want nothing more to than to hold on to anything that makes us feel better. Any reassurance, any piece of information that helps to avoid facing the full on impact of the intense pain.

When we are dealing with a soul connection, the ‘feel better’ factor comes when we learn that we are not dealing with outright rejection and abandonment. That this is not ‘over’ but just the end of the current cycle and there will be chances to reconnect and resolve issues.

The problem with this kind of reassurance is that it can imprison us in a virtual waiting room. Rather than living life based on exactly what is available to us today, we comfort ourselves by waiting for the day that we get another chance at the connection.

This is obviously not healthy but there is another level to this dysfunction that is far worse.

There is no doubt that soul connections are incredible, intense, passionate, adrenaline filled encounters, and the only people who will truly understand how you are feeling are those who have also had the experience. There is something beautiful, special and unique about a soul connection and whilst learning about the dynamics can be a great comfort and a way to focus our thoughts, it can also be a trap that prevents us from moving on. There are two paths in a soul connection that run parallel. The energy dynamics of the soul connection, and what is actually happening in reality.

It is very easy to get trapped when your heart cannot bear to face the loss and reality of the situation and latches on to the romance aspect of soul connections like a security blanket.

This is why you will find forums full of people who spend hours discussing (obsessing over) Soul Mates, Twin Flames and Twin Souls. In the short term, this environment can be a great comfort, but if you stay there for months, or even years then you are creating your own self imposed prison.

Despite what you may believe to be true, despite what you have read about soul connections, or what a psychic has told you, it is VITAL that you do not abandon the here and now, your every day life.

In your heart you may feel that its not over and there will be a reconnection, but you need to LIVE IN THE MOMENT. You have a great many experiences, opportunities and lessons in your life that have nothing to do with the Soul Connection. When a reconnection does take place, it is an opportunity to see how far you have both come and if you can walk the path together. If there has been NO CHANGE, because you have chosen to remain stagnant, then there will be no progress.

The reason that things fell apart was because you both had issues to resolve and work to do in order to be together in harmony. You do this by living your life based on exactly what is available to you now, today at this moment.

In doing so, you continue to grow, learn and evolve and when the opportunity for reconnection comes along, you approach it and make choices based on where you now find yourself on your own life path. The energy will be different because it NEEDS to be different if you are hoping for a different outcome.

YOU MUST LET GO.

Do not allow your understanding, your empathy, the energy exchange, the intensity or the feeling that there is more to come – to blind you to what is happening in reality.

You may fully understand why someone behaves as they do, you see beyond the dysfunction, the negative cycles and the erratic behaviour, your soul loves their soul and you love who they CAN be, who you WANT them to be, who you HOPE they will become, but you must NEVER allow this to cloud your vision of who they are RIGHT NOW, how they are behaving at this moment in time and what is actually happening.

You need to keep it REAL and based in REALITY. It really doesn’t matter if someone is a Twin Flame, Soul Mate, Psychopath or Narcissist. Sometimes they can be all of those things wrapped up in the same package, what matters is that you pay close attention to what they are saying and doing in REALITY and you respond accordingly.

You must always come from a place of self love and self preservation. You cannot help someone by throwing yourself under the bus for them. Wounded and dysfunctional people, no matter who they are and how much you love them, WILL HURT THOSE AROUND THEM in much the same way that a wounded animal may attack the person trying to help them.

You would not walk into a lions den to tend its wound without taking measures to protect yourself first. Soul Connections are similar.

If you are struggling with a soul connection the best thing for you to do is ground yourself in the day to day reality of what is going on – not what could be, should be or might be, but what IS.

over 7 years ago

Hi. Thank you so much for your post ! That’s some great advice you gave. I recently got over my twin flame..It took me all of a year inspite of my twin flame not admitting at all that we share a strong connection.. In hindsight he did me a huge favour else I may have tried to pursue him.. One must understand that the twin flame is like a mirage in a Desert..You can sense it, feel it and know without doubt that it’s right there, but the when you try to reach out for it, it disappears.. It’s a trap out and out… In this case don’t trust your gut, even though it’s screaming out for you to..Just stay real for once.. If he says no, it’s no !

over 7 years ago

makes sense