9 STEPS TO GET OVER YOUR EX

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Many of the readings I give are on the Question of “If my Ex will come back … will we reconcile” and while sometimes it shows that they will. Sometimes alas it shows they will not. And I have to gently but assertively tell a person that what has ended will remain so.

No doubt words a person does not want to hear. And you may even feel like your Computer screen at me for telling you this …. but is not truth always better than “tooth fairy” based fiction ? But no matter what – relationships do end. And when your not the one doing the breaking it hurts and sometimes hurts really really bad. I know I have been there and yes it sucks!

So what can you do to alleviate the pain, to start getting over the past, to start healing and to finally feel able to face your life without that “mate” whom at one time you thought would last forever ?

Below are a few steps that can make this awful process somewhat easier – in the end remember we do not need any person to define who we are and we should NEVER allow any one person to dictate our emotional state.

1 : Cut all contact if you can. All contact! This includes Facebook, twitter, mobile phones letters. If this is not possibly fully due to say family commitments limit that contact to what needs to be said. Remember you need time to heal and cant do this with your ex in front of your face (e.g Facebook photos)

2 : Make sure you ex knows you are needing no contact. Ex partners sometimes have moments of regrets, giving a person false hope. If a person cares anything they will understand the reason you are asking for silence. Tell them you need space and time to get over what has happened – wish them well – leave no trace of hated behind you if you can. This will be help you greatly in the long run. Holding onto anger and bitterness is like walking around with a red hot brick in your hand. Start the process of letting it go – drop the rocks you dont need!

3 : Clear out your home of all those memory’s. Last thing you need to see on a morning is a pair of your exs underwear or a toothbrush left from the “last time” If you can not bring yourself to throw out what is left , then box it up. Give it to a friend if you can. Tell them you will pick it back in 3 years. Odds are you wont care less by then.

4 : Go easy on the readings. We can get so desperate we find ourselves asking the same question over and over to multiple readers. Hoping against hope they will tell us something different. Trust your own instinct know that relationships end for a reason and sometimes we will never truly know those reasons. Yes sadly people do fall out of love without really knowing fully why. Rather have a reading on yourself. Your own NEW future – what is coming in for you – what YOU can do to change things up.

5 : Be kind to self. Your hurting right now. Your drained. You have probably not slept properly in weeks and your diet has gone to hell. You need to be kind to soul and body. As if sick. Buy those things you always tend to deny yourself. Surround yourself with home comforts if you can. You don’t need to spend a fortune. Taking a long hot bath at 2am or 3pm can make all the difference. You indulge in YOU.

6 : Reach out to others when you feel your loosing your grip. Talk through your feelings. Know that it is normal to feel like hell. And when someone tells you that it will get easier that you will over come BELIEVE THEM!

7 : Switch Channels. Soon as you find yourself thinking about your ex. Who is he with ? What is she doing ? switch that thought immediately in your brain. It wont make any difference the first few times you do this. Don’t expect instant results – but do it enough times each and every time and your brain will start to re-wire. it will start to make new associates – you will start to heal!

8 : Let It out … when you feel like crying don’t hold it back. We cry for a reason it helps ease the pain it allows the healing process to begin. If you wanna cry go for it. If you wanna scream do it. Although for the latter I usually found a deserted field somewhere and would then scream until I felt my guts were hanging out. It felt so good when I was done and will for you.

9 : Happy Hormones – get working out. Get those happy hormones pumping around your body. If you don’t run then jog if you don’t jog then walk. But work outs produce Serotonin in abundance and no matter how bad your feeling after good long bout of exercise a feeling of well being will come, even if for a while due to your production of Serotonin . Life life – be active!

Finally know that one chapter ends another always begins. The above are only pointers and not a set road map that guarantees a way our of pain and misery. But following some or all of them can certainly make this journey somewhat easier and more importantly shorter. Turn your head to the future – stop looking back and Embrace what ever life has in story for you. Because it is YOU that makes your own future.

Be Happy Psychic Dino

Thank you so far for all the feedback back many of you gave me and taking the time to message me on this through bitwine :) It is appreciated x

Psychic Dino

As a peson using this site for counseling and as a terapist i can only say YES ! Its so true what you are saying here and it is also my experience. Also someone should do a post on what/how to get by when the predictions and the hope when “yes he will be back” is on the other side of the screen. Thank you for putting this in to words for all the people needing this <3>

Hi Camilla thank you for your comments. Did you mean an article on what to do when a prediction given does not come to pass ?

If so that is an interesting and challenging article which I would certainly look to write!

Dino x