Admitting you have to be the one to change

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Often we don’t know where the pain and suffering is coming from in our lives. We can be treating the surface problems by talking about our problems. We can even be prescribed medication, but than why do so many people walk around never getting rid of the pain and suffering?

It’s one thing to express ourselves, and take medication, but another to take responsibility for our actions and behaviors.

1. You have to understand you are playing a victim, and you also victimize others through unhealthy coping skills, and never know how to communicate in a positive way.Things will never change until you change. The world likes to look out in the external world and blame the world for why their life is the way it is financially, emotionally,mentally,physically, or spiritually. It’s easy to look outside, but internally you have to look for the answers why you make the choices you do, and discover why you are in the situation you are in at the moment. It took a life time to get to this stage of the game, and it won’t be fixed over night and without taking the time to invest in yourself, stop making excuses, and face the hard cold facts. Those hard cold facts is you are the creator of your life, and you determine the outcome. You can be a victim, or a survivor. It is your choice. If you are not dedicated and devoted to helping yourself, truthfully things will never change, and you will be going in circles for a very long time.

2. How good are you at setting boundaries? This is the biggest problem of all, knowing where you begin and the other person ends. Whose feelings and emotions are you feeling, and of course whose life is it anyway? Most people will live hidden behind layers of masks. Trying to be someone they are not, and when they take pleasure in doing anything that makes them happy, they resist happiness out of shame and guilt.

3.) Be authentic, real, and genuine. If you feel you are living a lie, than you probably are by not being truly honest with yourself and others. We can go through the motions acting the part, but not totally present in the moment or involved with another person.

4.) Do you know what true spiritual love is? Do you know what pure love is? Do you know what it is like to love others unconditionally, but still set boundaries? We confused materialism, lust, sex, and seduction with love.

5.) Do you have love in your heart? Over a life time we accumulate so much pain and suffering, that we have forgotten how to love, and argue, fight, become resentful, and bitter towards everyone around us.

6.) Have you ever taken a year or two off for yourself and discover who you are without being in a relationship. You are scared of being alone, but when you are alone you discover that you can stand on your own two feet without being co-dependent on someone else to make you feel whole, complete, and you learn you don’t need someone else to make you feel good about yourself.