I got same-sex feeling for my assistant

over 6 years ago

I’m so confused and painful about my feelings.

I have been working with her for near one year. Previously, I just saw her as my friend and my coworker who could work effectively. We are a good team. Gradually, I started sharing with her my personal problems (about my husband, my failed marriage and my son). She seemed to be a good listener. She gave me a lot of advices. When I forgot to buy breakfast, she went out immediately to get one for me. I like candies. She got a lot in her pocket and told to to take them freely. I I asked her why she was so nice to me, she told she just wanted me to be happy.

Because of that, I counted on her. When she was off, I felt the office are a bit empty. When I was off, she told me the same as well.

Three days ago, I was sleeping in my room. Because I am manager so I have my own room to rest in office. She and the security staff are the only people to have the key of the room except from me. I was about to sleep. I heard someone coming into the room. That is her. She went to my bed, lean down and kissed me on my lips. I opened my eyes. I saw her crying and kissing me. She whispered that she had been waiting for me a long time and she did not want to be silent anymore. I was shocked. I know she is not a lesbian (she got relationship with few men before). Me either.

The shocking thing is I let her continue do that. I wanted even more. I kissed her back. We were kissing and touching each other until I realized there was somthing wrong here. I am a Christian. That was so unreal. I pushed her away and ran.

I went home earlier. I cried during the drive home. I am a Christian. My belief saved me for thounsands of time. I have been taught that homosexual is dirty and against my God. I don’t know what happened. Am I a homosexual? I have never experienced something like this and I am a married woman although I am about to divorce because my husband’s adultery.

I am so desperate now. Even if I am a homosexual, it is hard because I am living in a country where this thing is considered as disgusting thing. Today, I met her at the office. She looked at me sadly many times. In our private talk this morning, she told me she loved me and she asked me whether I loved her or not.

What should I do? I just need help. Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!

over 6 years ago
miss_tula's photo

Miss tula (miss_tula)

2140 posts

IM SORRY NO ONE HAS GIVEN YOU ANY FEED BACK AS OF YET BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO ME IAM AVAI LIBLE FOR YOU.